Interview with A Father of the Fourth Reich

A Conservative website ( Family Security Matters) is said to have published an article or blog condoning the use of nuclear weapons to rid Iraq of Iraqis, allowing America to inhabit it as a new State. In follow up to this recommendation, The Independence Party conducted an interview with a founder of the Fourth Reich here in America, (we will refer to him as Der Reich Meister, "DRM") who is, for the moment, anonymous. Readers are encouraged to stay tuned for further interviews, as the electioneers and the Reich aproach critical junctures in the coming year!

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TIP: Can you give our readers your impression of these comments from the website I just read to you?


DRM: You have to hand it to the Reich, … I mean, the Right. They gather together to share thoughts, spawn their young, and conduct science experiments to determine if a disembodied head can still think and a mindless body still speak. The latter is a given. (sips his bourbon) One strike for the Reich.~In the end there is such cool, calculated economic logic to the use of nukular weapons by the Fourth Reich. Kind of like when GI’s would kick back on patrol and say, … “Smoke ‘em if you got’em!”. They are paid for, … just sitting in tin cans on the Bay of Pigs, … whoa, flashback, sorry Pappy Bush! I mean the Persian Gulf, … They’ll never be any fresher than they are, … right, … now! Right Dick? Now there’s a man’s man, defibillater and all! Never let’s reason stand in the way of action, … see somethin’ flashin’ in the Bush, … just shoots at it for cryin’out loud, … asks questions later, … Oh, Sorry Bud!~Anyway, gettin’ kinda quiet around the White House, with Karl gone, and Tony packin’ up. ‘Bout time for the old turdtoaker himself to come back from clearin’ brush and set a few fires of his own, I think. Glad the Woolly Mammoth pulled that silly blog about nukin’ Iraq. There’ll be plenty left over after we blow the hell outta Iran, … Yuk, Yuk, … cough, sputter. Yeah, this makin’ war is a young man’s game. Where’d I put my oxygen cylinder, … hate that ,,, when I, … lose, ,, track ……

TIP: Are you well, mein Herr?

DRM: Can you still hear me clear? Sometimes the mask makes it hard, ... worse'n that damn canala, ... whatever the hell it is, ... well, it makes my damn boogers whistle if you know what I mean. I hear Rehnquist whistled up a storm when he was cranked up over them Damnedocrats fightin' over Katie Harris' Florida bullshit, ... 'member that. Not surprisin', ... damned one vote election in the end, to tell the truth! ... Old fool howled like a ghost, just knowin' it was his single vote shut that Florida recount down cold! 'Spect he thought that's his biggest gift to the Republic in the end, ... to deliver the votes from the state of Florida, where Georgie's brother was gub'nor to his even dumber brother running for presnet!

TIP: What were your impressions of that campaign?

DRM: Gotta ask y'self what the hell these guys wuz smokin' and drinkin' that ever gave them an inkling they wuz fit fur office, .. Sorry, ... 'D'I spit on yur sleeve there, frein'? I mean, ... DEr Pappy wuz a stand up guy, ... named every plane and ship after his wife when he was in th service and the agency, ... jus' so body'd know it wuz him, ... He's cool dat way about the secret stuff, ... kinda casual and elegant at the same time, oder Barbara would beat den Scheiss outta him, ... and she would too, ya' know?

TIP: Shouldn't that mask be on your face at all times, sir, I mean, ... for your health?

DRM: Nah! There's a certain high ya get when your oxygen drops off, ... kinda like it on bad days, ... when my memories come back too much, ... too fast. Ya' know, ... like when I heard that Dewey lost. Can't remember nothin' for a week after that, 'til I woke in a flop house in Albany beggin' for a statehouse job. Sucked to be me, know what I mean, kid?

TIP: Do you need a minute?

DRM: No I need an hour, asshole. Getthefuckoutahere you! I know you from PBS now that I look at ya closer! Who the hell let you in here, ... Nurse, ... Nurse! I need a rub!

TIP: We concluded the interview abruptly due to DRM's agitation and congestion, but feel that there is much more to explore with him another day. Stay tuned to the exploits of the Founder of the Fourth Reich!

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